Cut Yourself Some Slack
We’re entirely too hard on ourselves. Sure, there are some things that we should actually be tougher on ourselves about (don’t eat that cheesecake if you know you’re going to feel miserable in the morning. Speak your truth. If you’re tired all the time, stop going to bed so late and clean up your diet. Anything you’re always complaining about, change. Just to name a few :)).
But I think there are far more things that we should actually cut ourselves some slack in and realize we’ve come a long ways and are doing REALLY well at.
And specifically around things that we WANT to be really good at. The things we dream about being great at, but question whether we will ever be.
Case in point. I want to be really good at Brazilian Zouk. If you haven’t seen Brazilian Zouk, watch this even 30 seconds of this video. In my opinion, it’s the most beautiful, connective and soulful partner dance that I have ever seen or experienced. I’m in LOVE with this dance – it calls to my spirit on every level.
However, I currently suck.
Or at least I FEEL like I suck :) Even though I’ve taught NIA and teach Zumba, know I’m a great dance teacher and absolutely love dancing, Zouk hasn’t come as naturally to me. Not. In. The. Slightest.
I’ll have a private lesson or social dance with our Miami Zouk group on Monday night and sometimes I feel like, WOW, I’m getting this! And then the next two times I feel like I’ve backslid into the land of the un-co white girl who can’t dance and shouldn’t even be trying.
Today though, I found a video that one of my dance teachers took of me 6 weeks ago. Nyx videos our lesson every time we dance…and I cringe every time I watch them after he leaves, critiquing myself.
But you know what? When I saw the video from 6 weeks ago, I was so MUCH more uncoordinated – ha :) My hips didn’t move at all, I looked rigid, SCARED and oh so tense! The CURRENT video (while I still don’t look that great) shows my hips moving, me laughing and having fun and relaxing more into my body. And there are some moves that I even look completely natural in (granted, amidst the moves that I still look like a deconstructed Zouker :))
When I saw that video, I realized HOW FAR I HAD COME in 6 weeks. Which made me realize how much further I will be in 6 weeks. And then 6 months. Then 
in a year, I will probably actually be really good. And then in two years I will be teaching Brazilian Zouk and helping others realize that they are doing GREAT, that they have come such a long ways and they are going to be an amazing Zouk dancer if they just keep going after their dream.
So what about YOU?
- What do you want to be really good at?
- What do fear you might never get “good enough” at, that is stopping you from even trying?
- Who are you comparing yourself to, that is stopping you?
- Have you quit something recently that you really wish you could do, just because it doesn’t come naturally to you and is hard to learn?
What do you want to be really good at…that you LOVE…that is a DREAM for you?
Never, ever give up on a dream. That’s your heart, soul, intuition and every part of you, speaking to you.
You can do and be anything that you really want to be – it just takes consistent effort over time. Most people don’t realize that that one AMAZING song took MONTHS to produce. That that transformational speaker took years to grow into her speaking ability. That that successful writer/blogger/youtuber produced great content every week, for two years before she even had a smidgen of a following.
Remind yourself that the expert in anything was also once a beginner, and that you’ll speed up the process by relaxing, breathing and being your own best supporter.
And if it’s something that you LOVE…you’ve got time to master it.
You’ve got your whole life.
But don’t wait.
Start now.
Today.
Do you have a similar story? In your business? In your life? Share below in the comments – I would love to hear :)
Be Happy…Be Vibrant…
Love,
Carmen xo
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I loved this post Carmen! It’s such a great reminder to stop comparing our Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 100. It’s especially lovely to hear it coming from you–that even extremely accomplished women like yourself can still feel like a beginner at some things. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed thinking about how far I need to go to reach certain goals, but when I stop to think how far I’ve come, it’s much more of an expansive feeling. Thank you! XO
Hello beautiful Josie! Thank you so much for your comment – I am sooo happy it was helpful. And I love this: “It’s a great reminder to stop comparing our Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 100” – so true. And also your noticing that when we stop to think how far we come, we become expansive –> which energetically allows us to relax. And then everything naturally works better. Love :)
Carmen. Love this. Thank you. I have shared with the brave warriors who are currently in our yoga teacher training program because this is exactly right – wanting to be great but needing to put in the 10,000 hours to get there! As Roosevelt said; The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…Be Happy Be Vibrant – Indeed
Hi Linda! I’m so glad the article was helpful for your Yoga Teacher Training participants. Makes me even more happy b/c it is SO applicable for them – as I know they would all tend to be hard on themselves in their desire to amazing teachers. I LOVE the Roosevelt quote you shared as well – I have never come across it…pasting into my Evernote “Favorite Quotes” Notebook now. Thank you! Carmen :)
Playing guitar is one of those things for me. I want to be instantly good… quick chord changes, fancy finger picking and it is can be frustrating to loose my timing and rhythm when I struggle to get from one chord to the next. BUT, that reminder – to allow myself to be a beginner and acknowledge my progress (however small) – is so valuable. There’s a Walt Disney quote “If you can dream it, you can do it.” that should have after it: “with consistent work, faith and perseverance.” Thanks for always sharing great content and stories!
Hi Shana! You are so welcome. Thanks for sharing your example as well – it’s so good for people to hear specific examples like this as we can all relate it even better to something in our own life. Love, Carmen :)